>>A Withering Dream<<

>>A Withering Dream<<
I am waiting for just another acrid word
to split these white lips apt to lie
One more caress intended to hurt
A trophy for the girl who used to cry

This way of dying is tranquil, at first
no cracking bones, no ticking time
but be aware, the stillness is the worst
How should I have known what I might find?

You always knew how to twist minds
Spark desire that grates the flesh
Darken the room, draw the blinds
Crawling with a skill that I can't match
on the edge of vision, a spinning memory
surreptitiously giving your presence away
Falling asleep to the sound of my own plea
I am jealous, because you got to escape
from the trenches of a war you shouldn't win
The paralysing need for assurance, cherish
your breathing patterns etched into my skin
I would suffocate so you'd stop, a naive wish
And then -

You had me caught in a withering dream
a dance of gleaming pain and vice
a mirage in which all is as it seems
for beauty belies the beholder's eyes

One would have thought I enjoyed my fall
your eyes and hands, fast and coarse
bruising my ribs, up against another wall
A time beyond good and evil and remorse

My heart's pounding to the rhythm of your step
echoing hollow and from beyond the grave
and now that we have abolished regret
I will be your student instead of your slave

——Dez 2010

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